The Rogue Healer

The Man They Couldn't Kill. The Most Remarkable Story You've Never Heard




“True courage and adventure is found in exploring the meaning of life and discovering the reason for your existence. Even greater joy and fulfillment is found in the persistent struggle to contribute to others’ happiness.”

Daisaku Ikeda

I was thinking about courage today, when I was working with someone who is successfully beating cancer. Courage comes in different forms, of course, and there are as many forms of courage as there are people. Why ? Because each of us has our own demons. Each of us has something we struggle to face up to, each of us finds fear in things which have relevance to us, and only us. Courage only exists if we have fear. If we are not scared, we cannot be brave. So like Yin and Yang, courage and fear are both aspects of the whole, and both are needed if we are to be complete.

This particular person, the lady I was working with, has been through almost a decade of cancer. The medical treatment was tough, and she needed focus, belief and resolve to get through it, as well as an enormous amount of courage.

Each time she completed the treatment, and then found the cancer had returned, or had never even gone, she needed a fresh dose of courage to pick herself up, dust herself off, and prepare for another fight. Each time, it was harder to find that courage, but find it, she did, and each time, she came back positive, strong, and full of fight.

Now, the cancer has gone, and won’t return, and the healing I am giving, as well as being physical, is aimed at healing the deeper mental and emotional scars of a long battle with cancer.

What really stands out though, is through that whole time, through all those years where she had to face each day anew, with pain and suffering, and with often only herself to face those demons, she gave an equal amount of effort in looking after those around her.

At the same time as she was finding courage to fight her cancer, I was going through my own cancer, not the physical cancer we all know, but a malignant and destructive cancer in the shape of a psychopath, bent on destroying my life. Each day I had to find the courage to get out of bed, and continue my healing work, as well as continue the normal, boring everyday activities that we take for granted, but which can become insurmountable chores, when faced with stress and upset.

Whenever we met, and I tried to talk to her about her illness, and about her treatment, she refused to be drawn, beyond a few brief sentences. Instead, she wanted to know about me. She wanted to support me, comfort me, and help me through it. Frustrating for me, of course, as I needed to speak with her, each week, to understand her progress. When I tried to object, she would chastise me, exactly as I would chastise a cancer patient who was considering giving up.

Despite her problems, her focus was always on my pain, and the problems of those around her. Her courage helped her through her ordeal, but helped dozens of other people through their own personal hell too. She had enough courage to share it around, and I was lucky to be one of the many recipients of her bravery. It would have been all too easy to focus on herself, and to concentrate on her own problems. But in helping others, she was able to expand and strengthen her own courage, which I am sure was one of the factors in her eventual recovery from cancer.

Courage shared is never wasted. Courage shared comes back to us twice as strong. There is never a time when we can’t help another person. And in helping others, we find real meaning, and when our lives have meaning, we become indestructible.

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Intention and Intent – The Healers Mind


Intention and intent are the keys to all healing. No matter how many times I say it, I still won’t be able to emphasise it enough. If you can get the intent right, everything else will follow. If the intent is wrong, you’ll only ever be an average healer. Intention will transform your work, and transform your life. It is your route into another world.

Energy will always follow intention. In the world of Chinese energy arts, the link between intention and energy has been a given for over four thousand years. Qigong relies on the exercising of intention to direct internal energy around the body. Taiji, Bagua and Xing Yi are all based on the mind focusing energy, and leading it to where the practitioner needs it. Indeed, Xing Yi, an art I have studied through its energy aspects, translates as ‘Form-Intention Boxing’. At a high level, movement stops being conscious, directed by the brain and muscles, and becomes energetic, and instantaneous. Energy and intention are yin and yang, two parts of one whole. Master one, and you must master the other. You learn everything, or you’ll learn nothing. Intention is everything.

In his superb book, The Way of Qigong, Kenneth Cohen, a renowned Qigong master, discusses Yi Nian Zhi Liao, which translates as ‘Mind-Intent Healing’. In this process, the Qigong practitioner thinks of healing the patient, and the patient improves. It’s instantaneous, and does not depend on the proximity of the patient to the healer. Just the thought, or the intention, of the healer, is enough to produce a healing response. This is exactly the same process as I use to heal people from a distance, whether it’s a mile, or ten thousand miles, the intention is the same, and the result is the same. Cohen suggests that this process does not involve energy transfer, as it happens too quickly. He quotes the work of Dr Larry Dossey, who suggests we consider “the possibility of another, immeasurable correlate that does not behave like ‘energy’: consciousness itself”. I beg to differ, as we know energy exists purely as dynamic bundles of information, patterns endlessly repeating themselves, pure potential, and as such, no energy needs to be transferred. Information exchange is instant, as consciousness itself is energy, simultaneously a wave and a particle.  So I believe he is right to suggest consciousness is involved, but wrong to make a distinction between consciousness, energy and energy exchange. All are one.

“You are what your deepest desire is. 

As your desire is, so is your intention. 

As your intention is, so is your will. 

As your will is, so is your deed. 

As your deed is, so is your destiny.”

Principal Upanishads


So before we go any further, I think its appropriate to look closely at intent, and intention, and define exactly what we are talking about. As in my book Rogue Healer, I make no apologies in borrowing a definition from brilliant American healer and Qigong master, Michael Lomax.

INTENT: Non-linear, quantum-level event with no limitations. The mind is not involved. Requires energy to have manifestation. Instantaneous. High Level Qi projection with manifested healing is an example. 

INTENTION: Initiated by and monitored by mind. Linear, time involved with a finite limitation. Requires concentration to have manifestation. Visualisation is an example.

Lomax, Michael. A Light Warrior’s Guide to High Level Energy Healing (Medical Qigong and a Shaman’s Healing Vision)

So in intent and intention, we have two very similar words, with very similar meanings, yet apparently springing from different sources. Intention is quite a buzz word at the moment, but in many ways it’s the least powerful and easiest to understand of the two. It’s also the one you’ll have most connection with, on a daily basis. Start with intention and it will generate intent. But what does it mean ?

Intention comes from the mind, and as such, it is a transitory state, lasting for as long as the mind is able to focus on a specific task or goal. When you start a healing session, your intention should be clear. I am sure that’s very obvious. There is nothing too clever about forming a healing intention. But it needs to make sense to you, and reflect your understanding and eventual goal. Mine would probably be along the lines of;

 I intend to heal, to the very best of my ability, for the very highest and greatest good of the patient, without prejudice, ego or agenda, to bring about wholeness and integrity. 

Something of a mouthful, perhaps, but I think it generally sums up my intention, either spoken or unspoken, when I am going about my healing work. I don’t think about it every time I perform a healing session. I may not even think about it from one day to the next. I don’t need to. It’s clearly formed and it is focused. I know what I am doing, and I know what I want to happen. To make intention work for us, and not against us, it always requires focus. It insists we know what we are doing, and needs us to be clear about our goals and our methods of attaining those goals.

Every moment is a moment of intention. It must be, as our minds are constantly working, creating the world around us. Therefore every moment is a moment of creation too, since our intention is what forms the now. For most of us, this is an unconscious act, as we have lost the realisation that we can control and focus our intention, to create the world we want. You create your world, every second of every day. I create mine in the same way. Together, we create everything we see. It conforms to what we expect and what we desire. We get exactly what we create. Life is completely intentional.

Extract from Strong Medicine – The Handbook of Healing 


Cancer – Hope and Empowerment


Lets face it. Cancer is disempowering. It involves a total loss of control. Previously, the cancer patient made decisions every day. These decisions determined how he or she lived their life. Decisions were made consciously and subconsciously, every moment. Every day, the patient was master of his or her destiny. Having control of our lives is the main constituent of what we call freedom. And having that freedom is what allows us to make choices, and lead a fulfilling life. For the cancer patient, the biggest shock is the loss of that freedom. The loss of control. The impact is massive and cannot be underestimated.

The first loss of control comes when the cells become chaotic and disturbed. Cells which have previously contributed to health and vitality now conspire to bring illness and disease. Can you imagine how that feels? To know your body, which has served you well for so long, is now conspiring to kill you? Regardless of whether or not it’s acknowledged, this knowledge has a profound effect on the psyche of the patient.

The second loss of control comes after diagnosis. Suddenly the patient’s life is no longer their own. From leading a normal life, they are suddenly transported into an out-of-control world, full of hospitals, doctors, travel and appointments. Everyday seems to be filled with activities related to the cancer. Normal life stops completely. The doctors take over, offering treatments which seem strange and frightening. Many new cancer patients are too scared to ask questions, and certainly too scared to try expressing opinions or ask about alternatives. They often feel pressured and confused. Life becomes chaotic.

The third loss of control comes personally. Relaxation becomes difficult. The mind of the patient is unable to stop thinking about the cancer. Every new ache and pain is immediately blamed on the cancer. Suddenly, life is changed forever. Every event is interpreted in relation to cancer. There is no life without cancer. The old life is gone. Friends don’t know how to react, and some will avoid the new cancer patient completely, not knowing what to say or do. Family members will offer well meaning advice, but conflicts often emerge as differences in opinion become apparent. The new patient may want to use conventional treatments, against the advice of friends or family. I have seen this many times. Or they may want to try complementary or alternative approaches. Again, this can cause trouble. Lack of support and doubt about choices are weakening and disempowering. Loss of control everywhere. Cancer changes everything.

Time and again, I see those people who begin the process of empowerment are those who make the recovery from cancer. The patient needs to regain some control of their life. They need to start making decisions and they need to stop the chaos engulfing their world.  These decisions don’t necessarily need to be major, but they do need to be significant in the eyes of the patient. They need to mean something. They may only be symbolic, but if the patient feels he or she has stopped the ‘crazy train’ and is starting to make choices again, it has a vast and profound effect on their wellbeing. Emotionally and psychologically they will feel boosted and empowered, and the deep resources available to them, such as a strengthened immune system, will kick into action. Empowerment brings belief and belief breeds hope. Hope can be infectious, and it can affect everyone around the patient. This is, in my humble opinion, the first step in successfully beating cancer.

The second step, again in conjunction with the energetic, ‘hands on’ healing process, is to start the patient projecting themselves into the future. This is the next development of the empowerment of the patient. So often, that process stops at the moment of diagnosis. The patient has no hope, so they stop seeing themselves in the future. They no longer plan holidays, they no longer think about Christmas or birthdays. They suddenly live in the moment, from one hospital appointment to the next. There is no hope and there is no future. The future is dead.  Everything stops.

I work hard to change that mindset. If the patient no longer sees himself in the future, how on earth does he expect to get there? He must exist in the future, in his own mind. This technique is part of the empowerment process, mentioned above. The patient must take control. He must start to own the future. Make the future his. This may sound strange, but so often I have seen people transformed by this simple approach.

“Mind is nothing but the accumulated past, the memory. Heart is the future; heart is always the hope, hope is always somewhere in the future. Head thinks about the past; heart dreams about the future. The future is yet to come. The future is yet to be. The future has yet a possibility – it will come, it is already coming. Every moment the future is becoming the present, and the present is becoming the past. The future is like a seed”   

Osho. Courage. The Joy of Living Dangerously

I force the patient to see the future. I force the patient to project forwards. The future is theirs to be made. Yes, we know the diagnosis, yes we know the prognosis and we know the risks. But these simple techniques make such a difference. If you have ever seen a beaten person, shocked and scared, already dead in all but body, and within weeks or even days they are stronger than they have ever been, and ready to fight for their future, you’ll know, like me, that there is no such thing as false hope. Only hope. If the future is like a seed, then we need to nourish that seed, and allow it to grow. But first we must plant it. Create a future. If the seed dies, and the future dies, the end is inevitable.

Yes, I do give hope. I give hope because there is always hope. I love this process. Its profound in its simplicity. If hope gives belief, and belief gives empowerment, and that empowerment takes someone into the future, where they can beat their illness and confound their doctors, then hope is the secret weapon we all need.

Extract from Rogue Healer – The Autobiography

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The Genius and Compassion of Viktor Frankl


I was thinking about the amazing Viktor Frankl, and his incomparable book, Mans Search for Meaning. Frankl was an Austrian-born neurologist and psychiatrist, living in Vienna at the time of the Nazi takeover. Initially he was able to continue his work, but in 1944 he was sent, along with his family, to a concentration camp. Tragically, his wife, both parents and his brother were not to survive their incarceration. During his time there, as he fought for survival, he developed his theory on logotherapy and on his release, wrote his book, which has now been published into dozens of languages and has sold millions of copies. 

Frankl believed that, no matter how awful, how terrifying, how dehumanising, how painful and how tragic life may be, life continues to have meaning, so within that, suffering has meaning too. If we can find that meaning, we can come through anything. 

“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.” 

“The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living” 

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” 

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” 

During my ‘bad times’, I had the choice to react in any one of a million ways. The most obvious response was anger, fear or despair. But I knew that if I chose that route, I would become like my stalker, consumed with hate, venom, and ultmately fear and hopelessness. As long as I stayed true to myself and my ideals, I had won, even if ultimately I was to die. No matter what happened, as long as I kept smiling and held onto my compassion, I would be a winner to the end. 

Mans Search for Meaning is a book I recommend to everyone, as within its pages, there is true wisdom from which we can all learn, and gain meaning. We all have hard times in our lives, and often we can lose our faith in life, in ourselves and in our view of the world. At those times, its worth reaching for Frankl, and remembering his words;

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” 

There is always meaning to life. There is always meaning in our lives. That can never be taken away. We always have a choice. We can always smile, no matter how bad things become. We have the choice. 

We can all be Viktor Frankl.




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Drop the Ego !

Really accepting ‘what is’ depends on self-awareness, knowing your true existence – Being what is. When we know our essential nature as absolute bliss consciousness, we transcend the man-made notions of right and wrong borne of dualistic awareness, yet we imbibe the inherent virtues of Being such as love, compassion, truth, joy, and wisdom. These qualities are not cultural or social values of morality, but inherent expressions of existence itself.

How do we do this ?

Drop the ego.

Then we can become our true nature. 

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Its the little things that matter

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When love and hate are both absent,

Everything becomes clear and undisguised.

Make the smallest distinction, however

and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.


6th Century Philosopher

It truly is the little things that matter. The little distinctions that we make, the judgements and projections that take us away from truth, and speed us along the ego path, where the mind and its thoughts feed us agenda after agenda. When we say “I love this”, or “I hate that”, what are we really thinking ? Look how we are creating divisions in our world, barriers to our true understanding.

So often, we love what we sense we are lacking in ourselves, and we hate what we know we hold in our hearts. But we never admit that to ourselves. Love and hate are just divisions. Just ego projections. No more. No less. If we honestly open our hearts, both will disappear in a puff of truth.

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Energy – As real as we allow it to be………

radiance by Kathy Koch

Radiance by Kathy Koch

Energy. It’s the basis of all healing, all matter, life and the universe. As healers, it’s the raw ‘stuff’ with which we work, yet at very best it is poorly understood, even by those who claim to know and understand it. In healing terms, it’s incredibly simple, but even then, hard to define and frustratingly intangible until you experience it for yourself. For myself, I know it will make my hands tingle until painful, it will make me feel burning hot or icy cold in an instant, and for my clients, it has been known, on occasions, to deliver electric shocks from my hands strong enough to throw them from the chair, or leave burn marks on their skin. Most importantly of all, it will stimulate a healing response in their body, which can generate apparently miraculous cures, beyond the hope or possibility of medical science.

In my world, working with energy is absolutely normal. It allows me to view the universe as an interconnected and unified consciousness, where we are each responsible for whatever we create. For you too, I suspect you have accepted ‘energy’ to be part of your life, and an integral part of your healing work. We accept energy, unless we choose to be sceptics, in which case we reject it, despite being unable to even define what we are rejecting. I’ve lost count of the number of times I have been told healing energy does not exist, but when I ask for an explanation or a definition of energy, the ‘thing’ that has just been dismissed, I am met with a blank face. The person who has denied the existence of healing energy does not know what energy might be, and doesn’t actually know what he or she is denying. Their opinion is born of prejudice, misunderstanding and cultural arrogance. It does not arise from any examination of the evidence. Even the greatest quantum physicists are unable to effectively define energy, but at least they are open-minded enough to accept the energetic nature of the universe is still full of mystery and the unknown, and are not so arrogant as to assume they know all the answers.

I have no intention of trying to prove the existence of healing energy. What would be the point ? Those who have experienced it will believe it, those who have never experienced it will continue to doubt it. Having successfully treated over twenty-thousand people and animals, using the self same healing energy, its existence is not in question to me, and if you have felt it, and used it too, you’ll have the same opinion. We know that healing is subjective, based on the individual’s personal experience. How can it be otherwise ? So why waste time to trying to prove what we already know exists ? What is far more interesting is the nature of energy, its characteristics, and the way it works within the physical body. What is it that we are actually working with, and can that mechanism be understood, at least in terms of patterns and behaviour ? It is that area which I intend to explore in this chapter.


Lightball on the Stones by

I liken energy to love. Imagine trying to explain love to someone who has never experienced it. Where would you start, and can you imagine their incredulity and scepticism ? You’d describe the power of love, how it makes you view the world differently, how it can change your character and your very sense of self, and how it can become a force powerful enough to overcome any obstacle. You could describe how great works of art and literature have been inspired by love, and how empires have been won and lost over love. You might even quote some Shakespearian sonnets, or some Sufi love poetry to illustrate your point, and when questioned about where love might come from, you’d have to say it can start with the flash of a smile, the tenderness of a voice, and the cry of newborn baby. It sounds wonderful, but although we all know it exists, your explanation is unlikely to convince the hardened disbeliever, who looks to denigrate anything he cannot touch, buy or control.

Scientifically, love cannot exist. It’s too subjective, individual and dependent on personal experience, expectation and cultural and social factors. Science in its current form is reductionist and rational, based purely on objective observation, ignoring the human experience. Love cannot be dissected or reproduced in a laboratory. Yes, we can talk about hormones as catalysts for chemical reactions, but that is not love. Love takes place in the consciousness, not in a test tube. Energy is very similar. There is absolutely no doubt it exists, but how does it exist in a form which we can actually define and use, in healing terms ? Are love and energy the same thing ? Is love an energy ? Is energy pure love ? And where does consciousness fit into the equation ?

It is fascinating to know there is no actual definition of energy. The brilliant physicist Richard Feynman stated “It is important to realise that in physics today, we have no knowledge of what energy is”. Now, Feynman was mischievous in the way he worked, and had no problem in challenging and upsetting the great minds of science. He was an iconoclast, and loved to provoke people. But by making that statement, he was also making a pertinent point. Feynman was exposing an inconsistency at the heart of physics. Effectively, energy is a mathematical abstraction. A human construct. Most of the ways we define energy are actually characteristics of energy, rather than energy itself. Yet it clearly exists. We know energy can neither be created, nor destroyed. But we still don’t know what it is.

The core of the problem, from the human perspective, is in separating our perception of energy with our perception of self. Where does energy stop, and matter begin ? Your body doesn’t exist, according to the ‘standard model’ used by modern physicists. You are composed entirely of atoms. But these atoms are 99% empty. They are almost entirely devoid of matter. If an atom was the size of the average football stadium, the nucleus would be sat in the centre, and only the size of an apple. Electrons would be whizzing around, but they would be smaller than a pinhead. Tiny pinpricks of light, disappearing and reappearing apparently at random. Effectively, the football stadium would be completely empty. And so it is with an atom. The atom, and as a consequence, your body, is almost entirely composed of empty space. Matter, as you imagine it, exists only at a sub-atomic level. Smaller than the atom. But that is where the problems start. Some would argue that even the atom, the basic unit we all learnt about in school, barely exists at all. An atom has absolutely no physical structure. Therefore it cannot exist. But it does exist, only not in the way conventional physics expected. The atom is composed of energy. Einstein’s famous E=MC2, a model of understanding, effectively states that mass equals energy and energy equals mass.

Any model, no matter how well it agrees with experiments, is still a model. It is not reality. The map is not the territory. It is just the map. Nobody can really explain what is going on, as it is inexpressible. All we can say is that the model, or the theory, makes good predictions. No more, and no less.

Extract from Strong Medicine – The Handbook of Healing